Moods an’ books... (Wide Sargasso Sea)

Its an odd thing over the last couple of day two of my flist have posted on mood busters- pir8fancier on ‘what Fic  do read  to relive crap, unhappy days’ and Cluegirl on ‘what to do to beat those violently black moods’- very interesting posts I must say...I myself had my answers straight away because my mood has been shitty of late DeeePressed, fucked off and  down right grumpy- I’m surfacing now , which is probably  why I’m posting, when I’m down in the dumps I like to read journals but I’m not fit company for any one :) ...It got me thinking – is this a general thing? Fandom wide (post DH-traumatic-stress-disorder blues?), is it the time of year? Does anyone else out there want to press the fuckit button? Dunno.

Another thought for me is ‘The other side of things’

I’ve recently read Jean Rhys’ ‘Wide Sargasso Sea’ – I thought it was brilliant book, it is the other side of ‘Jane Eyre’, written from the POV of Bertha- Rochester’s first wife- the one with a taste for snarling, trying to knife house guests, haunting the attic, revealing bigamy and barbequing the drapery. It also has a section written by Rochester himself- now I don’t know about anyone else, but in my teens, when I read Jane Eyre I had the biggest crush on the dark and brooding Mr. R...all those tight breeches and calling him ‘Master’- quite turned my head ;)... In some respects it explains a lot about my being drawn to the character of a certain dark forbidding potions master...

Any, in WSS Rochester is portrayed as awful, bullying, manipulative, oppressive, and down right spiteful, tormented, twisted... I love the  book , the story was compelling, the prose rich and sensual, but it felt odd having my teenage pin-up lambasted in such a way... then I got to thinking about Snape [ I mean who doesn’t:)] and I thought ‘ Blimey its an opposite view point, but here’s another character where we see many sides of him; in cannon he’s awful, bullying, manipulative, oppressive, down right spiteful, tormented, twisted, but there is (for me) a sense there is so much more’. Then I realised  ‘jean Rhys has been writing fan fiction’ - yep , she displays the darker side of the character , but still this well known , to quote the back of the book “ literary masterpiece” is fanfic... then I thought ( rubs her hands hopefully) how long will it take for someone out there to get the ‘Wide Hogwarts Lake’ or whatever, published... surely the other side of HP is as valuable as the other side of Jane Eyre...do you think publishers would go for it? Or while JKR is still on her mortal coil is it impossible?...Ya' know even if it never happens I have read so many other convincing, moving, brilliantly written pieces of fanfic that they already stand alone, so a publishing credit doesn’t  really matter – but still, Jean Rhys wrote fanfic and is remembered as producing literature, so I don’t see why a brilliant piece from fandom can’t have the same literature accolade...who knows, maybe at this very moment some where a publisher is reading the blogs and thinking ‘ yep, this is the next big thing’...so my beloved fanfic writers- keep writing cos’ one of you might end up being the next Jean Rhys :)

(And that would certainly lift my shitty mood!)

So, I'm moving house....well, in the circuitous path that is my life, we have been told if we want to sell our house(ever) we MUST DE-CLUTTER. Jeez, does anyone know how hard that is- its like giving birth...'cos me, hubby and our off-spring, who share the same fatal gene,HOARD THINGS. You know in the Philosophers Stone movie  where Harry sees Diagon alley for the first time and there are all these crazy buildings at contorted angles leaning in across the street practically blocking out any sign of the sky...well that's my book shelves...and they are the tidy bit of the  tiny box room, grandly called 'my office'... then there is the rest of the house (gulps, too scary to think about right now).
In a bid to organize myself, cut down on paper, hide the stuff I read from curious little eyes and anticpate a  point where I will be without internet for a bit, I've been saving my faves to computer...wow its been fun- revisiting old gems , re0reading and discovering why I fell in love with them in the first place...even poking through the archives when I've thought 'That was brillaint, why have't I got this here?, must-find, must-find!'....Hmmmm, I find I'm making yet another collection!

Hello lovely flist....sending you all a very big Valentines squidge xxx

Its an odd thing Valentines day, as a teen I hated it- not because I thought it was gross, but because I was the nerdy, geeky kid who NEVER got a card off anyone, nil, nada not even as a joke. Then finally I got my first boyfriend and for the first time I approached the dread festival with the same sence of smug happiness as every body else- FINALLY I would get a card....he didn't get me one -I was crushed. To this day I remember the rollercoaster of emotions- shock, disbelief, hiding my hurt under a brittle smile and finally inconsolable tears and the bitter dissapointment that this day would always be crud to me.
years later, I started dating the man who would end up as my husband and when the second week in Feb approached I quirrulously raised the topic- he, through similar painful experiences repiled with a gruff "I don't celebrate Valentines..." all the hurt, pain and dissapointment sufaced, what should I do? say nothing stay crushed, stay hating this...so I replied with a jokey " well I bloody well do and if I don't get a card , expect deep shit"- it  wasn't the most romantic thing to say but it worked , he's faithfully given me a card ever since ( even if he insists on sniffing and rolling his eyes!)............
So what is the moral of this story?... this is the most personal post I have ever left here...I think its about  love and support , not of the romantic kind maybe, but being aware that this day can be fluffy, dizzy and wonderful, or a hateful, hurtful pile of shite...or occasionally when you stretch out and talk to someone they give you the support you need... so there you go lovely flist, thank you for being you, for commenting and letting me take a peek at your lives- especially the bits where the rest of the world would think we were all mad( HP fandom, I mean you!), thanks for making me feel welcome and acceptable.....so I send my Valentines wishes to you too XXXXXX

 Yet again I’ve stolen something interesting from Subversa’s journal...imitation being the sincerest form etc... Being a Brit I’ve done my best to apply it to Brit things, Comprehensive school for High school, University for College, etc

From What Privileges Do You Have?, based on an exercise about class and privilege developed by Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, Stacy Ploskonka at Illinois State University. If you participate in this blog game, they ask that you PLEASE acknowledge their copyright.  

Bold the true statements.

1. Father went to college 

2. Father finished college
3. Mother went to college
4. Mother finished college
5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor

6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers (I'm assuming this means social class), possibly, some of them.
7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home – truthfully I’m not sure, but we did go to the lending Library nearly every day, so I certainly had access to many books.
8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home
9. Were read children's books by a parent

10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18.
11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18.
12. the people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively, some of them!
13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18.

14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs

15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs.

16. Went to a private high school.
17. Went to summer camp.
18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18.
19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels.
20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18. (Up to age 16,) My mother was a real snob about that whether we were skint or not, a kick back to her own even poorer childhood
21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them, ditto above.
22. There was original art in your house when you were a child.
23. You and your family lived in a single family house. yes, it was a house, not flats etc
24. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home. Yep, they were paranoid about any kind of debt
25. You had your own room as a child. Only child
26. You had a phone in your room before you turned 18.
27. Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course.
28. Had your own TV in your room in High School.
29. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College.
30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16.
31. Went on a cruise with your family.
32. Went on more than one cruise with your family.
33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up.
34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family.See  questions 20 and 21 

Tags: memes

Hello, Happy Advent everyone!
I've dropped off the map again for a while... I'd better explain incase you think I'm off spying for Queen and country whilst sippping stirred martinis or summat...I'm doing a distance learning course and occasionally I screw up real life an get behind on my 'homework'- then I have to spend all available computer time working and not here...sigh...I've done it again; I've got an essay to write, course work to catch up on, a streaming cold and the demands of living with hubby, toddlers and a smelly, aging feline...so, I've not been on the wonderful world of LJ for days...Hey I miss you guys- its particularly frustrating as I'm mid way through a super fic and I know its fic exchange season and there are sacks full of story-stylie goodies out there, just dying to be poked, rattled and unwrapped...So there you go kittens, I've not forgotten you...in the words of a large man with a massive weapon (snerk) "I'll be back!"
Hugs to you all x

I shamelessly stole this from Subversa.....

One Ping Only

Ask me a question. Any question. Something you've always wanted to ask me, but never dared to. Or just any random question that pops into your mind. Anything, really. No matter if it's about "real life" or fandom. I reserve the right not to answer or Try to anwer in a flocked post as my computer skillls are appaling!    :)

So Dumbledoe is gay- yay thats cool, but why tell us now and not then? I must say I did not see it in the books, maybe I'm missing something huge ( its the robes, fnaar, fnaar) but I just didn't see it- when you consider some of the less sublte hints in the books like the assault on of DD's sis or Alberforth and the goats? Sometimes I wonder if JKR is playing with the fans a bit, she seems to have an odd view on the world of fanfiction...hmmm.-Hey JKR, if you think the slashers willl not possibly be able to make hawt  sexxay stories with a charecter as unlikely as DD, you are soooo wrong...I see it now 'young DD' ,'DD/Gindle wald'. 'naughty old Albus' and those twinklin' eyes just cruising Harry....
Still on the positive side we have an acknowledged gay charecter in the extreamly popular Potterverse which is a cool thing in a world that can be so prejudiced

21.07.07- lest we forget....

I guess everyone in the whole damn world has read the book but just in case I’ll LJ cut...                                                                                         

So I'm back from outer space... I was hoping to get some scrummy reading in, but I have spent so long nosing around my flist time is now running out for a large helping of lemons in fluff sauce with a soupcon of angst... sigh I will return later , book a table and peruse the menu...salivates in antici-pation.

Tonight I should be working, nose to the grind stone and not even looking at LJ...but I miss my online world so I just had a peek at my friends- just to check you guys are well and saw this dapper little quiz... I've just pasted it so I'm not sure if would work for anyone else but I liked my answer enough to stick it in.... Must get back to  RL, but i'm thinking of you all....back soon :)



What number are you?


Answer:

***You Are 4: The Individualist***

You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself.
You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable.

You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt.
Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel.

At Your Best: You are inspired, artistic, and introspective. You know what you're thinking, and you can communicate it well.

At Your Worst: You are melancholy, alienated, and withdrawn.

Your Fixation: Envy

Your Primary Fear: To have no identity

Your Primary Desire: To find yourself

Other Number 4's: Alanis Morisette, Johnny Depp, J.D. Salinger, Jim Morrison, and Anne Rice.

What Number Are You?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatnumberareyouquiz/

 Hello Lovies,
I've got RL round me neck a bit at the mo- nothing bad, just busy- So I've not has a sec to look at my f.list for weeks... and Blimey you guys I miss you. I was reading several cheeky little fics and I miss them too...  Its going to be about the 5th Oct before I'm free again...sigh...will catch up then

Here’s my confession, please don’t judge me harshly:

Well I suppose it’s obvious to any one who has cast an eye over this journal I am a Snobsessive – a Snape obsessive.

           I first discovered the character of Severus Snape in cannon- what I love about cannon Snape is his complexity. We see teacher, bully, protector. We see cruelty, devotion, exactitude and obsession. We see dark and dangerous, shallow and sarcastic, brilliant and bitter. As for the rich vein of Fic that springs from him- there are so many sides to Snape that I am happy, in my obsession, to explore them all. I do not judge anyone their preferences, this is mine. I do not mean to criticize anyone who has a particular preference or a  OTP, in fact I applaud your loyalty,  ( Okay I do have a couple of secret preferences…) All I ask of any Snape Fic is… you engage me and you convince me.

          I’ve read loads, I liked loads.  I’ve seen him portrayed as aristocrat, autocrat, underprivileged, overworked; worldly wise, oddly innocent, obviously damaged, martyred, saved, or betrayed.  I’ve seen him young, teenaged, old aged, charmingly middle aged. Living, dead, un-dead and all states in between. I like snurt and snomfort- a guilty pleasure.  I like Snuffy- Snape does fluffy- just convince me that’s what, is truly in his heart; Snaction- let’s have some quick thinking, razor brilliance; I like Snangst- Snape does angst- let me see the bottom of his bitter, black soul (but I do like a happy end if you are going to put me through the mill) - if you can hold my attention and get me to buy into your reality I will give it a go.

          I’m afraid I could not cut it as a brilliantly creative Fic writer- hey it has to be someone’s job to hold coats and clap-  please forgive me this one sidedness- I just can’t get enough of Snape, I cannot get enough good Fic and I don’t mind if you write snabbles, snovel length or sniterature. If you are on my f.list you have succeeded in holding my exacting need for a fix- if you aren’t it just means I haven’t discovered your brilliant hidden gems yet… be assured, in all my glorious obsession, at some point I will…